Up/Down

Well, I'm here and alive enough to post - always a good thing I reckon. My surgery did go ahead on Weds 15th June, though I knew nothing of it until being brought out of sedation and off of a ventilator on 16th morning which probably helped with managing the pain a bit. I spent the first day in intensive care, just about getting over the anaesthetic whilst developing a morphine addiction. On Friday I got moved to a general ward, and spent the next three days gradually becoming more self-dependent and mobile. Much to my surprise and relief, on Monday 20th they muted that perhaps I could go home early (fully expected a 10 - 14day stay) as long as I came back in for a couple of check ups on the Weds and Friday - I didn't hesitate in imploring them to make it happen. I hate hospitals at the best of times, but being in there once you are actually mobile and looking after yourself is absolutely the most soul-destroying and mind-numbing thing imaginable. So on Monday night I was home and happy.

Tuesday 21st June was a nice warm sunny day so I was pleased to be able to intersperse sleeping, relaxing and generally lounging about with forays into the garden for fresh air and to watch a few insects on the border flowers. It dawned on me that with the sun shining, and with it requiring virtually zero effort, I could dangle a couple of lures. So I tried both VES and FOR with success, one Orange-tailed Clearwing to the VES lure and x3 Red-tipped Clearwings to the FOR lure. I wasn't up to fannying about with a camera though so only managed a couple of crappy phone shots ....

Orange-tailed Clearwing

Red-tipped Clearwing

I think the adrenaline of seeing clearwing and the euphoria at being home overtook common sense, and I put the moth trap on for the night. Surgery and being in hospital screws up your sleep pattern for ages so getting up early to empty it wasn't a problem, though it was a bit more physical effort than was perhaps good for me. Nothing exciting in there, but it was looking sunny again so out went the LUN lure despite it being perhaps a bit early for the target. By 08:30 there were x2 Lunar Hornet Moths in the trap. All the more excellent as with the pre-surgery records of Currant and Red-belted, all x5 clearwing species that I recorded here last year have come again - no flash in the pan luck involved, all clearly present within close enough proximity to come to the lures reasonably soon after deployment.

Lunar Hornet Moth

Again, the moth trap went out and again with some effort I got it done early in the morning. This time though there was excitement, a new for garden macro and a decent migrant that warranted a quick snap with the camera ....

Scarlet Tiger

An expected addition to the garden list with recent expansion in VC55 range, shame it was a bit tatty.

Bordered Straw - second garden record after one in 2006

The moth trap went out again on Thursday 23rd June, back to standard fare and by now I was thinking that I'd perhaps overdone it, so the trap got put away as the weather faded a bit anyway.

A week or so after surgery, things can go two ways. You either feel like you're getting somewhere and feeling a bit stronger each day, or you start to slide and feel a bit crapper. Over the weekend I felt a bit lethargic and lacking energy, and on Monday I was in incredible pain in my left kidney. Back to the hospital to be checked, and I ended up being re-admitted with bloods showing infection markers. A subsequent CT scan showed a build up of likely infected fluid stuck in a pocket somewhere in my pelvis, which would require draining under a radiologically guided procedure. By then I'd had a couple of doses of IV antibiotics and was feeling fine again, but the NHS system conspired against me and despite my protestations and moaning I ended up being stuck back in there until the Friday evening whilst they tried to work out if/how/when this would be done. I was absolutely exasperated; every day I was nil by mouth from midnight to c4pm just in-case they managed to fit me into someone's schedule, whilst being sedentary and having bugger all to do. On the Friday I made it clear I'd had enough and I was seriously on the page of walking out and self-discharging, luckily they'd already come to the conclusion and seen sense that they were better off bending their own rules and essentially discharged me without discharging me, so that I could go back for the procedure at an appointed time as a day case.

Back home for another week, gradually building myself up again after going backwards in hospital. Yesterday I went in for a CT Guided Drain procedure - and by christ it was the most painful experience of my life, local anaesthetic only works so deep, and to avoid any remaining organs or major blood vessels they went in the most direct route - basically they skewered my backside and it fucking hurt! Anyway, it's done now and I can get back on with recovering (although the drain will of course have to some back out, which will also be uncomfortable but a lot quicker!). I'm actually feeling a lot perkier now and I'm okay with basic pain relief. I've got a long way to go with recovery but feel like I'm on the right path now.

Having major surgery, losing body parts and being in pain or uncomfortable etc is of course worth it if it means I'm still here for the foreseeable, watching the kids grow up (metaphorically, they've already grown up physically), being here for and with Nichola and contributing to society. The surgeon told me last week that the histology on the stuff they removed has clear margins - that should mean I am cancer-free and there will be no further treatment. I'd really like to hear that again with Nichola by my side at a formal post-surgery consultation in due course.

The trap will be back out tonight, I've missed some of the best mothing weather for ages and feel like I need to get back on track. I'm also able to sit at the desktop PC for a while now - hence posting. 

I realise that a lot of this post is a bit self-centered and unlikely to be of any interest to anyone, but as I'm sure I've said before I write this blog for me first and foremost.

In other news, apparently a large number of MPs in the lying bastard party with no integrity and morals have realised that their leader really is a lying bastard with the integrity and morals of a pile of bat guano. Who knew!

I really like this new track from Simple Minds ....